You should see the other guy

LaBlueyz Sells Out

Massachusetts, United States Female, 100 years old Last Login : 3/1/2008 04/07/1907 (Aries)

When Koolnot (not the first jewish networking site, not too kool, not for all of us,...) recently became a Facebook.bitch, i decided to post my blogs and some other fun things here. Try to enjoy, and when you think back to those days (and you know you shall!), please be kind.... ~llb/

"HAPPY FUCKING VALENTINES DAY"

Who doesn't remember that angsty cri du coeur at the end of Hole's "Unplugged" concernt on 14.02.95? That and titles like MISS WORLD, PRETTY ON THE INSIDE, ASKING FOR IT, the incomprable DOLL PARTS, and LIVE THROUGH THIS helped to define my artistic aesthetic, if not my reverence for Ms. Love as anything but a cloying carpetbagger. Still, spousicide and grave dancing is not a job for a virgin or martyr.

So, for the first time since the "Hole Period", i was madly in love of a day of the celebate prison saint (Valentine). I resided in firm belief that my beloved would send a card, something chocolate, an adorable something to roll around in bed with and be all lovey.dovey. JA! In the words of the worst room-mate of my life, "Never assume people will treat you as well as you would (sic) treat them." Aside from the normativeness of that statement and the hard fact (albeit with good reason) that i did not provide him with some little love fede (punny!), it seems to hold true. Even in true love.

When a bullet, a bomb, and a government conspiracy surprised Benazir Bhutto into killing herself with her own security vehicle, no one was so bold as to suggest that this was in any way fault but Ms. Bhutto's own. Quite rightly. If she hadn't been ignoring her husband and family and trapsing about in the manly world of governance and human rights and civil liberties, then non of this messy business would have happened.

Last Tuesday (12th) a car blew up on a Damascus street killing Imad Mughniiya. At his funeral cum memorial to the man the Syrians blew up three years ago to the day, Rafiq Hariri, Nasrallah spoke of his old pal's demise being the acts of "infidel murderers" (read: Jews). Nasrallah, who took a break from covering up girls in South Lebanon and passing oddly flavoured tahina air to eulogize Mr. Mughniiya, gives the Israelis (Israeli/Jew/Tzionist and most other terms that he doesn't like at the moment all mean the same thing. NB: It is a well-known fact that Nasralla despises brussel sprouts, which are also a code name for both "jews" and "infidel murderers" in his lexicon) too much credit. That is, there is unlikely a any covert operation in Syria capable of dismissing Mr. Mughniiya with such ease. It is just as likely that the Syrians were settling scores or that the Iranians are bringing new blood into the game. Further, in these days of political self-flagellism it should be considered possible that Mr. Mughniiya's auto was running on highly over-octinated fuel, with a carburetour formed of a material tending to over-heat too readily, and, the ultimate tragedy, Mr. Mughniiya was a smoker. It's true kids, Jews don't kill people, smoking kills people.

While we are all on infidel watch, remember back in September of '05 when a bunch of cartoons in a danish paper caused riots, protests, deaths, threats of boycotts (which pale next to murder-threats, so remember that at home kids), and ultimately capitulation on the part of Europa as a whole to a bunch of very sensitive islamic/arabic people who want to live there rather than in islamic states. They choose to live in democratic states with civil liberties like freedom of speech and, oh, humour. That is until it affects their world view. Whether one wants to defend the custom of prohibiting images of The Prophet or promoting rational historical assessment or just crazy ideas like "freedom of speech", the cartoons were much more about social awareness that anti-islamism. In fact, it is worth noting that the middle image on the page might be a modern day retelling of the Danish donning of six pointed stars during the nazi occupation.

However you look at it, last Tuesday, Danish police arrested three men who conspired to murder Kurt Westergaard (73), who provided the newspaper with a cartoon of Muhammad wearing a bomb in his turban. And now in an act of support for things like civil laws and protections and freedoms and civil society, twelve danish newspapers will reprint the cartoons and the danish governement will expell two of the men and put on trial the third. Well, good show. But too little too late. The government's original capitualation gave these men, and who knows how many others, the confidence to pursue their dilluded purposes. It is time that we as civil societies demand of our newest members loyalty to our values rather than answer their demand that we capitulate to theirs.

Sorry, i feel that i haven't made myself clear.

It is not an appropriate response to whining and threats and generally bad behaviour from folks ostensibly seeking refuge from the rampant unbearableness of their own countries with capitulation. This is not a means to acclimate emigrees, but rather to prevent their acclimation into civil socieity.

Spare the rest of the world the anti-logic that, in civil society, freedom of speach is not worth defending under its own merits, but only when civil society is threatened.


Now the good news. Steven Speilberg has a conscience! Too bad it doesn't concern the actions of his own government or how it relates to the health and welfare of his fellow LA County citizens. (No, not Tom Hanks.)

On an entirely semi-related note, the continuing discussion on the lack of national healthcare, no matter how well-intended it begins, finds its way to this call and response:

The United States Government is entirely unique in its goodness.

(Amen!)

Stocks, funds, questionable banking schemes are all perfectly safe as the United States Government (see above) issues or insures them.

We don't want the United States Government to interfere with legislating industry or -worse- the management of super-industries as it cannot be trusted. This goes double for healthcare!!

(Amen!)

After F'tyCent gets through making apocalyptic pronoucements to Bill O'Reilly on MSNBC, perhaps he can set the whole thing to music?

From a note2self, 12.02.08, NBC Nightly News:
"All markets were significantly up."

The Dow was up by 133.4 points, however the NASDAC failed to increase and in fact fell by 0.02 point. The next time you listen to the news, please do so with a discerning ear.

On the local NBC affiliate's 11PM news, the story of John Corcoran, an illiterate man, who, after graduating on scholarship went on to teach for 17 years. Don't feel too badly for him, he has his own foundation. The next time you listen to a teacher, please ask them to write down what they are saying.

Stuff that didn't make it through my thought processes: The story behind the "Delilah song"; Alfredo Reinado, why the Austrailian security forces are doing jungle clean up for East Timor, and five school shootings in a week. (It's Spring!) There there was the idea about deploying a dirty bomb in a simple communications satellite. (What is the effective range of a satellite?) In this scenario a bit of post-fissile/waste would be in the satellite and then also perhaps a ham radio signal that would begin something very rube goldbergish and start the vehicle falling to earth. If it were small enough it might not be considered dangerous enough to blast at and if the builders were smart, they would make some sort of shell that would insure the dirty part would make it into the atmosphere. Ok, go on, tell me i am wrong, proove it too me! Seriously.

General and generic exasperation with inflation and continued denial that there is inflation (until, of course, it is declared "over"), ridiculous and corrupt government outsourcing schemes and lack of reasonable, rational, curative or ethical medical care all combine to make a duck soup in which we are doomed to drown. But don't worry, the islamo-fascists, falling satellites or the planet itself will melt and relieve us of worry.

Next nightmare scenario: Huckabee (We don't <3 him) makes all of Naders arguments for staying in the race and is allowed to broadcast them on television.....daily, while Clinton (We don't <3 her even more!) steals the election from that black guy just the way Bush is reported to have stolen it from Gore, only everyone is so happy because really its just a win-win scenario. Oprah has kittens.

Here is a poem because i am thinking of this guy i only met once at a party and then i gave him a false name. Now he is dead.

Hei Enwhysea!

The cult of death
The obligatoury listing:
names, dates
how it all particularly
affected (effected) the teller. . .

& the cult of love,
that little death.
Each new love, THE LOVE,
Each ending a screenplay-ready
rationalization of scurrulous
trickery and deceit.

You light another cigarette,
make a tiny incission,
eviscerate my heart.
So much less sophisticated
than an Aztec making
short business of it all.
Less is more (?)

And now in shreds, i understand:
my story was just like theirs.
A few more classical references.
Some extra marketing savvy.
When it all came to the wounded forms
More is less (?)

I've tried to listen with interest
to the stories of your life as glorious progeny
And forget your determination
to have none with me.

I've tried to be strong
and advance my own form
into my own world.
NOTHING FOR NOTHING. . .

But at last a plan.
Cleanse myself from history.
Burn a few books of poems
(This included)
Use 500 hours of vacation.
And when it all starts to hurt
(I mean more than this
day-to-day torture shtick)
There's a bottle of
lifeisbeautiful pills with my name on.



Here are some fun sites to preoccupy:

• Jewish TV Network
  
• Israelim.com
  
• Israelli
  
• Visual <3's, Kristin Mallery's sees heart shapes....everywhere.
  
• 
  

Anthems for Despair (Aaj Bazar Mein)

After Benazir Bhutto did the work of assassins and essentially killed herself with her dangerous security vehicle last December, Tahira Naqvi read her own particularly good translation of a piece written by Faiz Ahmed Faiz on NPR (one can listen to the broadcast -or hear the poet himself).

In these overcast days, it seems apropos to recall these words of the famous poem that speaks to the politics of not one place or time, but to the unfortunate state of human endeavour.

Let us walk in the market place today with shackles on our feet;
Walk with hands spread out dancing and with abandon.
With dust covered hair, with blood stained shirt,
The whole city waits for you.
Let's go.
They will wait the ruler of the city,
the populace,
the arrow of accusation,
the stones of slander,
the unfulfilled warning,
the faded day.
Who is their friend ..besides us?
Who in the city of the beloved is honourable?
Who remains worthy of the hands of the killer?
Prepare the heart for its journey.
Come, you broken-hearted ones,
Let's go and be killed again!
Friends, let's go!

My brothers and sisters, death awaits us, on the road there, what shall we do?
Let's go!

A short apoetical rant

I joined facebook on the day BB did the work of her government, assassins, loyalists in opposition. Who knows why one does these things. Still there is a newsfeed there: [I] joined two groups (a city and an author) and listed myself as single.

My brothers and sisters, death awaits us, on the road there, what shall we do?
Let's go to facebook! Let's meejew ourselves into a stupour the likes of which has never been known before! Let us make our noble avotenu who sliced their own throats at Masada jealous with our caprice and vigour to die in banality and violence at once! Come brothers, Let's go!

Some thoughts about Love

Love is in the air and its 30% less butterfat and up to 50%
denser....

Valentine's Day is upcoming. My favourite gelati artisans will be
creating flavours such as Rose Petal and Champagne for the occasion.

One of my tight grrls is love sick. Its prolly not so much the guy
as it is how much she misses her papa. (Sorry, sweetie, but its one
of the few conditions which i am over-qualified to speak.) That sort
of loss follows one. The long goodbye. The trip to NeverNeverEverLand,
on which you are not invited and no one sends postcards or rings...for
infinity.

Myself i opened to loving and found out that its like any other
practice, you have to keep in shape or you suck. (Not suck in that
"good date way", but actually fail miserably.)

On the flipside, i learned that i am awesome at burying desire, repressing
tears and plodding along. Seemingly my Myers-Briggs profile should
include MFIC (Missionary Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate '
Conception, for all my jewbies out there).

• Love hurts
  
  
• Love sucks
  
  
• Love gives you wings

But people are always pulling the wings off things with wings, so that
might be a cold comfort. Like a PPK.30.

James Bond loved them, and women loved him...

But JB was imaginary. (Diamonds are forever, though.) Anarchists
also loved them.I don't know what that means, but it looks deepish.

Enough free associating. There are no free lunches and no free
associations. There is a price behind everything and behind that are the
so called hidden costs. They are shy, almost mute, they don't voice
until its too late to listen to their message.

At brunch i had a thought. It was the thought that inspired me
to sit down and write to you all. I have forgotten the thought.
Perhaps, more appropriately, repressed it. It made my eye leak. I
wasn't crying. That is for young girls and men who sit alone in
dark rooms. No, this was merely the body's attempt to cleanse said
thought from the collection of receptours and storage and dermal
layers that each of us is made.

Do you think we were once all stars?

Star dust?

Monkeys?

(I swear on heaven, some people still are! Ever see a super.hairy sort
of troggy person with the over-extended cranium, full lower lip, and
think, "Wow, monkey.man!" Only to later realize that this person
has a measurable IQ of over 140 and is able to interrelate concepts you
aren't even aware exist until they are explained to you in such a
simplex [def: simple means of extracting and extrapolating complexities]
that you, yourself begin to feel brilliant? Then there is Rob in the
next cubicle who generally looks like a model on M, someone famous,
lives in life.of.riley style and generally smiles A LOT. Rob is a
monkey. Just watch past the rolex (that was a pun!!!) and the smile
and actually regard Rob in YOUR environment: the office. The home, the
car pool,... Rob is out of the jungle and can neither wave his dick in
your face (this is arguable and depends on your corporate and
enforcement of AA/EEO policies) nor hurl his feces in your general
direction. Rob is a monkey without his jungle nor his tail to swing
from (but nice smile!), and about seven seconds away from total
meltdown. He also gets laid about 10000% more than i, so perhaps i am
missing a key point. Perhaps that is the key point. Perhaps
this is another blog entirely.)

We return to ashes, dust because once we were?

Makes it all different doesn't it?

Returning to the kitchen table and a brunch of blue cornbread,
peperoncini, my infamous onion.apple.sauerkraut, and scrambled eggs
with hard irish cheese and soft australian, leaking, terribly relieved
that my Mum is either so vague that she missed it or so Scandinavian
that she is far too polite to notice an emotion. Reality is generally
somewhere in the middle.

I like to drink with strangers. Walk into a pub and hang out. Hear
the stories, but not stay too long. I like to be able to return a few
weeks, months or years later and see a familiar face. If its an Irish
pub, then i will be a familiar face as well. The Irish are like that,
keep a face; say goodbye easily, cause in the end, "There'll be no
goodbyes in heaven."

I suppose that thought has never comforted me except as heaven is a
non-axiomatic concept, and i like PROOF (Truth?). If there can be the
absolute pain and ugliness of NeverNeverLand, there should at the very
least be proof of something as good as heaven. No?

Disagree with me, say yes!

So, the table, the quiet nordic bliss in the inevitable and logical
horrible ending of everything...(Ever grow up in a Bergman movie, once
upon a time?) The austere refusal to acknowledge emotion, and my
personal moment of bravery to stiffle the torrent but hold the thought:
a simple, undesparate hope that i will keep a friend. Not bury a secret,
a dead.thing, a piece of myself that will ever be too painful to honour
with flowers or even mark with a stone, so the stone will be carried
ForEverAlways someplace deep and unseen.

And the congruent realization that even hopefulness is extremely
painful. Here i sit at breakfast across from the other last Jew in my
family considering how lucky i am to lose love to friendship. There
is a part of me that thinks, "But i already ave a friend!"

That is greed. Arrogance. Inability to see the world past myself.

I consider myself reasonably humble, austere, inaudaz, generous.
Its a strange mirror image. But my image in the mirror is already
strange. Stranger still.

Something didn't kill me.

I once considered myself without vanity. But the prospect of a
surgery and residual scarring has revealed that i am terribly vain,
just about otherthings than perfect make-up, hair and breath.

So now i shall be touched by the universe (read: sun). Touched by
humanity (read: "...the strangers that we love are often stranger
than they seem, another b-grade movie on life's big silver
screen... Thank you Lacey J. Dalton, wherever the hell you are!)
And this time i will walk with it right there in the front and a small
neon sign, "Here it is, folks! I'm one of you!" This is how it will
end, being neither a brilliant monkey nor a subpar human. I will just
be.

Be me. (Margo Thomas was half right.)

Be alone.

Be a little sad.

I won't eat rose petal-champagne gelati for St. Valentine's day. I
was thinking a thème bleu. Something all Tom Waits and full of
retrospect and regret and nostalgia. NeverNeverEver will also work.

I'm coming down from something profound. I certainly did as much
damage as i suffered myself. Hopefully, i shall look back on that with
somesatisfaction (cold comfort?), when it becomes less about me or
anyone else and more about a moment. "In any given moment, i give as
good as i get." I will be able to state with something similar to
(but not quite) authourity.

Marc Maron has this line about stress and anger that -accompanied amidst
some majour.league jewcy hand gesturing, closes, "...and somehow it
all ends up in the Middle East!"

While i neither confirm nor deny culpability, Gaza certainly timed its
blowing out of control at a dialectical moment...

'Course it could be Hannah Montana

Hannah Montana is the well-metered name of Miley (second-gen
achy.breaky) Cyrus, who is the prime teen queen competition with Jamie
Lynn Spears, Briney's younger, less drugged out, more preggo sister.
Both Jaimie Lynn and Miley have shows on the Disney Channel! Mr.
Disney was (is if cryo works) a famous mouse-lover and jew-hater and
billionaire. The latter which makes him excentric and not a
criminal.

This is neither a Jacobean play nor an history lesson, but in a perfectly
normative world, it should be.

Jamie Lynn's unfortunate condition has resulted in the end of her
mother's opportunistic parenting book. However, Mom-Spears will be
busy.busy like a worker bee raising yet another doped up, anoerexic,
attention whore paycheck queen, as her younger daughter will be turning
over her child to her mommy to raise after birth so that she can return
to filming Zoey 101.

[Unfortunately, the fourth season has been cancelled over fears that the
wrong message will be sent out. Pity that (1) there is no such fears about
putting another child in the hands of stage mother Lynne Spears nor
(2)that writers will strike even longer for fear that the cd release of the
show will screw their residuals even more. ~llb/]

Miley has had her own brush with scandle. Appearantly, eschewing an
earlier generation of pop sensation penchant for lip synching, she uses a
body double in her concerts. Seemingly also in any teen sex scenes as
she is not preggers.

Slightly more interesting and just oozing with Valentine's Content, an
unnamed 16 year-old was removed from a Southwest [United Airlines
watch out, your title as most unsafe airline in the universe is up for
grabs!] flight this last week (in NASHVILLE!) as he was plotting to
hijack the plane and kamikaze it into a Hannah Montana concert in
LaFayette, LA (thème bonbon). You cannot buy that sort of publicity. Not
with crazy stage parents, drugs, sex, nor writers in from the cold picket
lines of LA; nothing.... It's a media reps wet dream. On a darker note,
it is believed that the teen was(sic) suicidal. Yes, but surely prison
will cure him of that!

The unnamed teens room contains a mock cock-pit (nomenclature might
be the answer here, folks), which appearantly didn't send off any
warning signals to his parents, cleaning lady, friends, parents of
friends, Allan Chernoff, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush ..... or the FBI
until they actually searched his room because he wanted to HIJACK A
PLANE.

Yet another warning light that still hasn't gone off is that in our age
of super.delux.heightened security, it is possible for an unescorted teen
to travel solo without any sort of paperwork from family (or notarized
statement of purpose should s/he be legally divorced from her/his
family), and without being scrutinized by security at the aeroport. Unless
security is in the habit of passing folks with handcuffs, duct tape and
utility rope through security [FBI spokesman George Bolds, http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/World/2008/01/25/4793861-ap.html].

Im sure this kid is some whitebread disaffected internet junky with a
few fan sites for manufactured, airbrushed teen marketing machines (Just
give it up, Disney, start selling sex and pills!). But he is also a
warning light.

Unfortunately, he is also an idea. Like the Michener's Tamil Eelam
inspiring character (another agent's wet dream), there have always been
people who were willing to give their own life for a bigger cause, right
or wrong. This kid is a lightbulb for any parent/adult figure who places
the value of a cause or a statement about a cause above the life of any
given child. Remember all those grandmas who smuggled coke for their
kids through the Newark and Miami aeroports? No one looked because no
one fathomed.

I want to end with something about "All you need is love, love,
love... And duct tape, rope and handcuffs. This may just be the
magik.ingredient. Instead i will remind you all: To prevent evil, one
must imagine the unfathomable. Else it all winds up in the Middle East....

BTW:

• For CZ *
  
  
• For yar0nzi *
  
    ~NB: ladoggiebella
  
  
• For EVERYTHING *
  

It's oh so quiet.

I do understand that this is a blog filled with thought for jews but im still here to shout out happy new year to everyone. For me, new years eve is just a fun night spent with family and/or friends, eating greasy things and watching awesome fireworks. If that has something to do with jc, he can have an oliebol aswell. Like so many others out there I have plans to do better this year and for me doing better would actually be making less of an effort. I will spend less time craving food and people far far away. Just think how much time this will give me to start a fun new addiction like collecting mcdonalds figurines or cross stitching. I dare say I might even quilt myself to my pillow. But as much as I'm trying I must admit; someone is still on my mind.
It was midnight, the first seconds of 2008 ticked away and I had my cell in my hands with his number on the screen. It's late and I can't sleep. But praise the heavens, I can still EAT....
I guess some things never change. Happy 'new' year everyone!

a key conversation: why men want what they want

Once upon a time in a couple of other lives, i knew this gal from m'real who irc'd A LOT. She was (i assume is, but i don't know) frummy in that baltshuva way, but also in that baltshuva way was modern 14th c. orthodox, mixing and matching concepts: rabidly kosher, but always living with some chick who was in the middle of a conversion and eatting take out pork; waiting for her b'sheret, but occasionally taking a trip to indonesia or tel aviv to meet some guy and have oral sex (not the real stuff!). So it wasn't what i would call a female friendship, but more of what men have between themselves: non-judgemental chit chat. She never had a real job so if there were anytime of the day or night i was in the mood to talk politics, religion, or most anything else, she was generally around.

She and i never met irl ("in real life"), however we both had a number of real life friends in common. In her quest for the perfect jewish male (something about skinny necks and facial hair -ewwwwwww), she started nudging everyone she knew onto OKCupid.com. OKC use to be snapsomething.com, which was a site that had all these ridiculous personality profily test-like thingies (i recall the most popular was the "Purity Test"), which in the early-90's allowed users to see the results of their networks test outcomes. It was a wild hoot to take a test and talk everyone you knew into taking it and then comparing scores. Hei, first Bush and then Clintons were president, there wasn't a lot of fun to be had.....

So, having intitiated an account in 2005(?) i continuously receive mail inducing me to check out the profiles of women-straight, women-bi, men-straigh, and men-bi with whom i have oodles in common. It's very metrosexual. Unfortunately the profiles aren't. How do i know this? Well, because after a few years of summarily deleting everything OKC sent me, i started plodding around in the site to do more than take the tests with my friend (she and i had something like a falling out, since it dealt with a guy neigther of us had met [tho i did have an amazingly hot and reasonably violent dream about us in a WC...] its like most of what the Internet is used for: absolutely meaningless crap.). Now i occasionally take a test that just interests me. It seems i should be Canadian and perhaps the PM of Canada. Just if anyone was interested.

I don't take the "who i would like to fuck" nor the "are you the person i would fuck?" tests. But there are some little gems amongst the muck (fuck?) and mire.

I kept recieving messages from "Cobi" (not his real name) who i am left to define by our match-appropriateness:

Cobi: 28m | straight
Massachusetts, United States
65% match, 39% friend, 12% enemy
Last stalked: Oct 6 6:17pm

Yes, on OKC, stalking is an OK thing, and potentially even a social good.

What follows is a conversation which began really cutely, adorably and wordy, but i didn't catch (cache) all of by the time i decided to do this. For me it reveals the fundemental banality even of folks with whom there is some sort of (at least) calcuable simpatico.

I should also note that my name on OKC is very in.your.face, but unintentionally so. I was inspired by a TICK character -check the external links from that site! BTW, if there is only one good thing to come of this blog, check out the TICK! That will make up for much of the revealed utter banality (Evil? Was Hana Arendt right?) below.

YO: yeah, i was perusing myspaz and found someone who looks suspiciously like you wearing one of my grandmothers hats
YO: i am relisteining to this piece, NAMEHERE, is it urs?
COBI: it is indeed me. what's your myspace?
COBI: hang on
YO: why didn't you tell me u had skills?
COBI: why should i?
YO: it occurs that i need the stimulation but am doin all the typing
COBI: and seriously, how about a picture? this is awkward.
YO: what is it with you and pics?
COBI: i want to know who i am talking to.
YO: were you dropped on a camera as a child?
YO: okok, sec
COBI: no. cameras were missing me. i needed fame. yes...?
YO: do u?
COBI: do i what?
YO: need fame?
COBI: no. but i do need your photo
YO: i referenced your need for image
YO: just to clarify, while i open thingsup, the rule is....
YO: i only talk to ppl i know how they look
COBI: and not one where you wear sunglasses, are 100 miles away, or
it's a reflection of your poetic soul.
YO: ooooooh, really
YO: what is it?
YO: i thought at first paranoia
YO: but its like an image thing, no?
COBI: you don't have one. i was just being courteous
YO: you don't talk to ppl who aren't at least as pretty as you?
COBI: you want to know what it is?
COBI: i'll tell you
YO: the implication ws that, yes
COBI: since you asked: i'm tired of how badly most americans look. i
want to find more pleasing people, visually, who also happened upon a
brain at their childhood.
YO: an image thing
YO: you can dress it up in eurosophistication all you want, but its basically
whatgoes on in every collegio/highschool in the world
COBI: thing? it sounds wannabe freudian. in reality, i just like pretty girls.
COBI: it is you, not me, who is trying to dress it up
YO: im sure in afghanistan the madras have the same issues
COBI: i bet they do. violence and cock, as my friend says, are two things
that everybody understands.
YO: http://somephotobucket.com/image.jpg
YO: just another unworthy american
COBI: i don't see many people around here with hats like that. are you from vermont?
YO: hardly, but image and reality are two different thingis (;
COBI: so, see, it's you who has an image issue, not me. i'm quite sincere.
YO: sorry to be so freudian (;
YO: remember back in the good old days when this was about me admiring your skills?
YO: those were fun times, no?
COBI: the two have nothing to do with each other
COBI: i'm very flattered if you like my music.
COBI: i just don't see the connection between the two
YO: sorry, i am lost also
YO: i made a nice gesture and it shouldn't matter if i am a deformed freak or a beauty queen
YO: given that the gesture has nothing to do with me ever sleeping with you
COBI: this dialogue is rather atonal. perhaps it is meant to be
YO: now, if you are so entirely narrow that you need to place a bar to the image of people before you can even talk to them online, i donno
YO: even given that you are the last soul (sic) on the internet, we prolly don't have much to say to one another.
YO: i need to make one last point, if you will bear with
COBI: sadly, i do. when i came here, frankly, it wasn't an issue at all. i just got really tired of people here not caring how they look. consider it superficial, but i'm not dressing it up at least.
COBI: please do
COBI: you speak well, i want to hear.
YO: i live in a world full of UGLINESS
YO: hideous souls under beautiful skin under rotting skin
YO: and frankly it just seems so ....frivalous to me that anyone would take the issue of physical beauty of personal humanity that i am left a bit shocked.
COBI: and that is very very american. not spoken as a eurosnob, for i am not even european but..
COBI: as an observation of american culture
COBI: that somehow seems to draw a dichotomy between soul and body
COBI: which is such nonsence
COBI: because people who are beautiful inside, with rare, sad exceptions, are also the ones who are beautiful outside. i'm obviously talking about youth.
COBI: the two are not separate.
COBI: they are not even two
COBI: here, some pervasive idiocy took hold:
COBI: if i'm beautiful, i need not be smart OR
COBI: if i'm eloquent and well-educated, i need not keep my body in shape and dress sexy
COBI: what a distortion of what human nature is about, from both sides
COBI: that's why, yes, i want to see more pretty people
COBI: because at least i can filter out the not so interesting ones
COBI: and as a comment on what you said:
COBI: i'm surrounded actually with an impressive amount of beautiful souls. who also look good.
COBI: and i like it. quite a bit.
YO: with that i find agreement, yet, has it occured that you express it in a manner that befits better what you would say is the ämerican"aspect rather than the holistic one you represent?
COBI: that's why i said in the beginning: "as a reaction to being here for so long"
COBI: i am SICK of people in cambridge who are very interesting and look terrible. and they could look good. they make a choice not to. and yet, are hurt if this is something that is noticed.
YO: well, i am exhausted by folks who have mortgaged out their humanity for nail fills or shiny cars or ...or just being outre....whatevercupcakes
YO: your music is awesome.
COBI: one is just as bad as the other.
YO: zehu
YO: done.
COBI: well, that makes me happy you think so. beemet.
YO: jaja
YO: little jew
COBI: indeed. nothing more.
YO: oh, don't, you know what they say about the jews...
COBI: that they stink? or ?
YO: ok, the other thingi...
COBI: hmmmm. circumcised penis? huge ass and moustache of the women? i'm at loss
YO: [note how you drew attention to a positive male aspect (w/i
community) and were denegrating to women? tsk...ur mother is a woman]
no, the bit about how jews are just like everyone else only MORE(so)
COBI: by circumcised, i meant tiny. but hey, whatever dworkin told you to say.
YO: zomg, that hideous imitation of a person
COBI: i am more. hairy. and annoying. And stuff. mostly, the latter.
YO: nonono, is that your best retort? im disappointed ):
COBI: well, she also cared about how she thinks, not how she looks
YO: yes, well, any extreme is ...ujm, extreme
COBI: any extreme is logical. i like extremes. it's just that it's a different extreme i'm after.
YO: i don't care about how ppl think, btw
COBI: i do. i want girls to think i'm pretty. or people with good taste to like my music.
COBI: or my parents to love me
COBI: etc
YO: i am disgusted when they are crude.
COBI: they?
YO: well, you thanked me for appreciating your music, but you have no idea if i have any taste or talent (again a crucial yet talmudic -dare i write- distinction)
YO: they = people (it was a continuation)
COBI: no. what matters is my interpretation. i'm not interpreting within a tradition.
therefore, decidedly untalmudic.
COBI: i like straightforward. some call it crude.
COBI: it makes life easier.
YO: sorry, just took a hit of erythrimyacin (sp?)
YO: if you were to ask for my opinion, and you haven't, but here it is anyway: its just an excuse to compress time. and with all that extra time what do people do? not so much
COBI: no. it's not about time. it's about being tired of roundabout ways to say simple things.
YO: now you or all the folks you know or everyone in your favourite country or ashram or coffeeshop may use their respective timelines so effectively that even an extra second would diminish all efforts
YO: but it is not the reality of the majourity.
YO: lookit, you have a philosophy that works for you.
COBI: as i said, nothing to do with time.
YO: i can see you are happy and productive.
COBI: i am, most of the time
YO: it just doesn't suit everyone, and being such a dogmatic arse doesn't really do GOOD, and i think at the very least we can leave the doors open for doing good...
COBI: i'm not dogmatic at all. i don't tell others how to live their lives, only what works for me.
YO: but i am framed in a different way by ideologies and cultures that you are not (& v/v) ...and that's why they call it a melting pot!
COBI: and you asked about why _i_ was so concerned about image etc.
COBI: i am not trying to say, in the least, that you are wrong. just that for me certain things are crucial. that's all.
YO: and i want to validate what is crucial for you (ooooooooooh, brandeis.speak!), i would just also like to suggest, no matter how gently (gentilely?) that you might find a lingua franca that meets [..]
YO: folks in a middle ground. again, its how i would do it, and you are not i.
YO: as they say in the morning prayers 'B"H
YO: (;
COBI: i find it crucial to have both external and internal (if you need that separating line) beauty, if it is possible (i.e. within the person's powers)
COBI: and yes, i define external beauty in a very particular way, although with no certain ethnic demands
YO: ethnic?
YO: now its about ethnic?
YO: man, it was great...seriously
COBI: i don't care if you are blonde or black or jewish or anything.
COBI: that's what i meant
COBI: i like how you jump to conclusions.
YO: years of dance
COBI: yeah. i can see that.
COBI: if you now reread what i wrote, you'll see that your conclusions were premature.
YO: no, i pretty much got it spot on. its just such an....please pardon....unitedstatesy way of sayin it (;
COBI: if so, share the conclusions
YO: may i first be so bold as to make a brief interlude and mention (sorry for my spelling, i learned english fonetikali...never learned to spel) that it really is nice to speak converse with a sentient
YO: being with a brain. you have some background in philosophy?
COBI: nope. i don't.
COBI: i like to read and that's all.
YO: conclussion: well, the jump was yours this time. who cares what
ethnicity or gender for that matter. i take for granted that a person
with such an unbending aesthetic makes no such distinctions
YO: which you then proceed to tell me thatyou don't, which means that
you are actually considering it. that logic might be too circular.
YO: btw, u hold the same bar for males?
COBI: wrong. i have dated, and would not oppose starting a family with any ethnicity.
YO: again not my point, im like the .us military, don't ask, don't tell (;
COBI: and yes, i do. however, since i have no inclanation to date any of them,
it is less bothersome on a personal level
COBI: and yes, before you ask the next question, i do see every woman
as a potential sex object.
YO: aj, when honest isn't refreshing....that would be a great book title.....
COBI: which does not prevent me from being completely platonic friend with many of them.
COBI: i see it as natural, not refreshing or not
YO: there is something so nesty and hawt in the thought that i am just one rufie away from a planned parenthood abortion with every guy i ever me/e/t. ty i mean that.
COBI: nothing wrong with that. unless of course you look at it this way, which is full of fear
YO: its not fear its trepidation and that is why there are two different words for it. i'll continue if you don't mind
COBI: go on. and, it is fear.
YO: you like upfront, here is mine. i don't like most people much here.
they are full of a cocktail of anger, stupidity and fear (your fav). and
while it presents differently in different places, this
YO: is a truth for a great deal of the planet, which i find unfortunate, btw.
YO: my side of it is: i like people easily
COBI: disagree. i lived in many places. it is only true here, the part about anger and fear and a few other places. most countries are not like that at all.
YO: i don't have much demand on how they look because i don't always see it as a reflection of who they are, beautiful people look stunning no matter what
YO: and hideous sacks of shit all smell the same.
YO: (it presents differently in different places, but i would liken the .us much more to the third world than any other western "modern"country....i should have been more specific, and that doesn't mean
COBI: beautiful with no brains is boring. thus, not hot. i don't look at people as containers of my favorite aesthetic. rather, partners.
YO: that you will agree)
YO: ok, now you are confussing in/external
COBI: i'm not. just pissing you off.
YO: im reflecting -or hoping to- an holistic aesthetic
COBI: there's no such thing
COBI: it's on case by case
COBI: but there are guidelines. LINES
YO: no, per the individual
COBI: borders. border controls.
YO: but listen, if you need to argue your own points with yourself, feeel free....
COBI: nah, see, i feel comfortable in my points. they allow me to change, and move about. they aren't limiting, or rather, are not limiting to the degree i would find uncomfortable.
COBI: the only problem, practically, is
COBI: that boston has very few good looking people with brains
COBI: hence, i go to nyc much.
YO: LOL
YO: i love how folks stuck in boston revere (sp?) nyc
COBI: obviously. that and montreal. what can you do
COBI: i'd much rather be in barcelona or tel aviv. but such is life.
YO: i think i see the schism
YO: ur sort of framed borderless border guarded personal fluid philosophy
(yes, ta will answer all your dreams) is about getting laid the way you want to
get laid. i was initially correct, its high school
YO: i forgot, i am female and can get laid any time i want.
YO: it all makes sense now.
YO: man, i feel for you. i do.
YO: and i wish you luck, big time.
YO: but the codeine in the cough syrup is calling me, i am off to sleep....take care!
COBI: hehe. ok. you figured me out. i am content now. good luck to you too, getting laid and all
COBI: ciao
*** YO’s connection is closed

And what have we learned today, children? Aside from the amuseals (incremental geometrice mental amusement benefit at marginal costs), statistical analysis for social.networking (parity?) is a lie. There are
no free lunches/easy outs, kiddles.

F/U [28.01.08]:
..And this is what the lack of reality (irl) and -espeically- love leaves us with: pursuit. Today he pursues sex, which he calls beauty. Tomorrow money, which he will call love or some other equally affected and radically wrong definition. Mostly he just does NOT pursue himself, his own bliss. It is my issue: Be pretty for me! Be intelligently interesting! Be awesome, so i can know i am alive and not just in the united states!

Hei, man, you are free, white and well-over 21. The world is your f00kin oyster. [OY-ster, a social networking site for ocd jews, "Have you checked the stove? Washed your hands, today? I LOVE IT! ~llb/] Go live in China or Barcelona or Iran or Tel Aviv or wherever that aesthetic flows free.

Sadly though, he won. I became serious in my responses to his idiocy which makes me his sucker =/

And, in response to the posts title, do men want what they want?
Doubtless because they can.

Men have been given the freedom to decide what they want -and not, as women are socialized to do, feel for others, communicate with diversity, empathize and mediate. All these are just means to sacrificing so that men can hurry about doing whatever they want. And while all this doesn't lead men down the road to enlightenment, it certainly imparts a pass key to the gates of self-satisfaction, even if on a rather low-functioning level. The point is, they don't realize they are functioning at sub-par levels, so they are content. Women are doing the laundry.

Ok, i could follow with a bunch of crap about how men don't have to want, they just pursue what is pleasing at the moment because they know that from one moment to the next they will have the purvue to do the same. Think how grade 1 classrooms are organized and you will see a great deal of social architecturing going on. Or even how boy toddlers are "all boy" when rambunctious or acting out, while little girl toddlers are NOT ladylike when doing the same. I could go on and on, but as in the conversation above, i begin to bore myself and find i need sleep.

I shall close with my favourite Ronald Reagan story. (Yes, i have one!):
Back in 1982, when they WOKE HIM UP FROM HIS NAP to explain that Israel had invaded Lebanon, the leader of the free world replied, "Well, boys will be boys." The President then returned to his nap.

Goodnight, Gracie, wherever you are!